Diesel the Dog: I am what I am

The other day at the park there was a dog doing all sorts of tricks; she was rolling over, turning, jumping on command, and even waiting a long time after a ball was thrown to chase it. What a show off. I could do that if I wanted to. But, I don’t. I am not a circus dog.

When I was a puppy, Crazy Blonde decided to teach me all sorts of things. First she taught me to sit, stay and lie down. Easy. Then Crazy Blonde got it into her head to teach me tricks. I heard her tell a friend she is like a dog whisperer because she was able to get my good buddy Bogart to do all sorts of funny things. She was determined to get me to do them too.

Crazy Blonde took a big bag of my favorite treats and started to teach me how to shake and give a high five. It was fun to learn and apparently it is really endearing because every time I do it people make cooing noises.

After a while, though, I got really bored. I really don’t want to learn how to roll over, or speak, or crawl. I especially hate it when Crazy Blonde puts a treat on my snout and expects me to wait until she gives the command for me to eat it. Really? You know you are going to eventually give me the treat, so why wait?

I overheard Crazy Blonde lamenting that she can’t teach me tricks. But, I can do lots of other cool things. I can jump really high and catch a Frisbee. I am an excellent running companion and go really far without getting tired. I can out maneuver all of the other dogs. And, I am super cute.

Also, I am very smart. I understand lots of words and phrases. If Crazy Blonde or Deep Voice asks if I want to go the park, I jump up and down because I know they are taking me to my favorite place. When I am napping on my bed and someone says, “do you need to go to the bathroom”, I hop right up and walk to the back door. I understand what it means when I am asked if I want a treat – duh, of course I do. I know the difference between my running leash and my walking leash. I can eat an apple off the core like an ear of corn. When I run with Crazy Blonde, I always look over my shoulder for cars before we cross the road. I know I shouldn’t bark so much, but I do it anyway.

So, Crazy Blonde and Deep Voice:  I know what I am good at and I am going to stick to it. If you want a circus dog, go get a Golden Retriever.

You may also like...

7 Responses

  1. Amico Williamson (Kelly's son) says:

    Hi Diesel, I’m Amico. It sounds like your Crazy Blonde is a lot like my Crazy Blonde. She and Dad also taught me how to do that ‘high five’ thing. Little do they know, it’s pretty much just like ‘shake’ only with a different hand position. DUH! But it’s fun because everyone smiles when I do it. I wish we lived closer because I think we would play good together. And your Crazy Blonde should be sure she throws the ball with a Chuck It, the ball goes further; esp if it is a lacrosse ball. OK I’m off to chase squirrels now in the backyard.

  2. G’day Diesel our names are Patch and Bruiser we are deaf and don’t have to do any of that but our owner loves us anyway thanks for the read

  3. Amico, tell your Crazy Blonde to kick some butt this weekend!

  4. Amico Williamson (Kelly's son) says:

    Kick butt whatever. I am just pissed that Crazy Blonde and Dad are leaving me again. This shit gets old. I like better when they’re home. They leave me here with this fatass cat all the time! Fatass always eats my food. How can any animal really be that hungry? Seriously Diesel, we need to become friends. Move to Austin. Laters… Amico

  5. Lara says:

    Hey, this is Bogart. Did you just call me a circus dog? I might have to re-evaluate our friendship. Good thing I haven’t brought your birthday presents over yet….I. JUST. MIGHT. KEEP. THEM. FOR. MYSELF.

  6. Dear Bogart,

    You know you are my best friend in the whole world. Being a circus dog is not a bad thing, it just isn’t for me. Please, please, please, bring me some birthday treats!!!

    Love,
    Diesel

  7. freischdog says:

    Be happy that you are your own dog and that you own up to it. No well trained dog can match the enthusiasm or passion for life as you.